expectations.....

Expectations are bound to make you go "loka" over everything....especially when people expect too much from you....but seriously for me? There's absolutely no escape to these things....because I can't find heart to resist of what I am told....

I am the type of person who feels guilty if I didn't follow what I've been told....as the youngest....that is what I have to do.....I have to follow everything I'm told....because if I didn't...then everyone at home would just be so mad at me...its like it has been my obligation ever since the day I was born....even if I don't want to do it I have to do it....

On a lecture of our teacher she said that you shouldn't be following what others tell you to do...you should follow what you want to do.....I actually froze at that statement.....You see, everything from my life now to the days that I will have a job in our company has already been planned by my parents, if I didn't deliver.....the consequences are extremely heavy...one of which is no tuition fee....what I want to be is different from what my parents want for me....but I thought, my parents want me to do this for my own good....but my teacher also told us.....what if they died? Then you wouldn't know what to do....she had a good point...I'd be lost...

I'm totally confused...seriously....what I usually want is what others want...and I know that i shouldn't be dependent on others' opinions....it bothers me alot....i have to go now....

~bye!